Tv Comedy Fan Pillows

"Why would we use torture? All we have to do is expose suspected terrorists to repeats of Teletubbies 24 hours a day."

'I like to watch 'Cops', but why is the guy they're chasing never wearing a shirt?'

"I'm a doctor, but play a politician on TV."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"When is my next parole hearing?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Giraffe Umbrella

Bad fake tan day.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

A Fairytale Update

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Vlad the Impala

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"That'll be five bucks."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'