Movie Comedy Fan Pillows

"The new Matter-Eater Lad movie is going to be better than the new Avengers movie because it's not about saving the whole world." "Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why 'The Martian' did so well." "It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden." "I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares." "We really should have our own movie review show."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Bad fake tan day.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Giraffe Umbrella

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

A Fairytale Update

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Vlad the Impala

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"That'll be five bucks."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Out damn Spot

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"That is an outrageous slur."