Lover Of Suspense T-Shirts

"Your test were O.K., it's just that I love the drama of these moments."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

While You Were Out: We Moved!

Milkin' Impossible

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

Pet Drone

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'How much longer are you two going to practice the theme music from 'Psycho'?'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

'Would've got away with it, too, if the cops hadn't framed me.'

A Cow watching a horror movie.

"Dinnertime already?"

'Would YOU polish your shoes to such a high shine if you were planning suicide, Inspector?'

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'Bond is back...again...!'

Two men taking part in a duel are too close to a cliff

Our inquiries have hit a big wall of silence

Stolen Crime Books.

Spies surround a man at his office desk

The Wrath of the Godfather of Ventriloquism

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

Thriller of the Week

"This conversation is between you and me, and possibly Doug Ford from Grifftech Industries, with whom we share an air vent."

Scared shadow.

"I get it- the old caffeinated-cop, decaffeinated-cop routine."

Alfred Hitchcock

"The strawberry surprise may have been predictable but the real surprise comes with the bill."

'I'll tell you what happened to the key if you promise not to laugh.'