Lover Of Psychological Humor Pillows

Deja Vu Walk In

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Some scents are nonsense.

Honest Voting Stickers

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

The Monroe Doctrine

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Only in America

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."

Dollars Press Conference

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Euro Collapse

'Escape?...Why?'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

Spying Smart TV