Lover Of Plot Twists T-Shirts

"After all these years keeping the books for us, it turns out you embezzled thousands? Why, mom?"

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

'I was wrong, your mother doesn't hate me.'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

Subway Thrillers

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"After several chapters of pushing a boulder up a hill over and over again, I think your average reader will watn to see something else happen, Mr. Sisyphus."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Diet Sugar House.

"Better than Chekhov"

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

'What are you implying?'

Cinema. I won't tell you what happens, but there's a great twist at the end.

Litigious Bo Peep

False starts.

I've decided to become a mystery writer. "Dark clouds filled the horizon as two young lovers walked along the shore. As if sensing something was about to happen, seabirds cautiously circled around the couple. Suddenly and without warning, the young man reached inside his jacket and pulled out a large bag of pretzels and began to feed the birds." I'm very proud of that opening. The story has just started and it's already filled with twists and terns.

'The vet did it.'

"These things work better if you don't explain the plot."

"Did you like that mystery book?"

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

"Hey - this isn't snow, it's little piece of shiny plastic!"

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

"Velcro!"

"Spoiler alert!"

"What's your novel about?"

'That's a turn up for the book.'

'I'm warning you! I've got a water ballon here and I know how to use it!'

Which one of you devils sabotaged my television coverage? Randy, I know it wasn't you because you're too stupid to figure that out. Wrong! Really? You fell for that? Stupid, no; egoistic, to a fault.

'I won't marry you, Ed, but you may join my entourage.'