Lover Of Humor In Finance Gifts

'Buy old masters, they hold their value better than old mistresses.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

Federal Guidelines

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

'It's a bill collector!'

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'Hector owes us money ...'

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

Bad end-of-year figures

'Great cash flow, Phil.'

Modern Art - 'Bull' graph going up / 'Bear' graph going down

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

US economy health.

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

Tales from the crypto: The returns are killer!