Lover Of Black And White Art Pillows

"Sorry I pounced on you like that in front of the board, Tom."

You're my Mona Lisa.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Jackson Pollock Studio

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

The Cremaster Cycle

Diego Velasquez

Pouring all emotion into his art, Pablo had none left for his face.

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

"Feel better, dear?"

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

Jackson Pollock as a child

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

'I like the frame.'

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.