Lover Of All Things Automotive Pillows

"It had another six owners, who weren't very careful."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Useless add-ons.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Route 666

Inflating Boobs.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Smile

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."