Automotive Enthusiast Pillows

"Get all the second opinions you want, doctor, …. You'll still be a quart low."

"Your keys are in your purse? I think it will be quicker to call a locksmith!"

Self Driving Car - Self Conscious Car - Self Actualized Car

'Do you have any hybrids that weren't designed by men?

'I hope you know a good search engine.'

'What? ... Oh, come on, ref! I barely pressured him!'

Car wash / Mouth wash

"You'll have to change it on the move - the sale ends in an hour."

"We were finally able to take out enough extras to get the car within your budget."

"I guess our moral GPS malfunctioned."

'I was really looking for something my kids wouldn't want to borrow.'

'We're in luck! It's only half flat.'

'Those Japanese have gone too far this time!'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'If you buy something, we'll validate.'

'When I think of all the money we wasted on drivers' training for him.'

"Nobody likes me...I'm a Tesla salesman!"

"Your husband's going to pull through, but your differential is shot!"

"The bad news is it's failed the MOT. The good news is it's passed it's A-Levels."

"What part of ‘Porsche 911 Targa 4S with direct fuel injection and VarioCam Plus’ don’t you understand?!"

"The docs just install the artificial heart. We at Al's garage do the maintenance on the battery."

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

"Kink free hose my a**e!!"

A mechanic is surprised to see a periscope coming out of a car towing a boat.

Mrs. Clinton. Please stay home a while and help us sell these huge gas guzzlers.

'It's standard procedure. Your rates will come down after a few years in the risk pool.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

Richard Hammond.

'O.K., I admit I'm impressed by your handbrake skills but does reverse gear work?'

'Found your problem...there was a hairball in the gas line.'

'The monster truck has a flat...'

I smell feet ... Human feet. About six months ago, I was getting my car fixed, and on the wall of the garage, there was a sign that read, "Change worn shocks at 50,000 miles." I mistook "shocks" for socks."

'Goo morning Mr.Williams. This is Doc Wentsworth who will be performing major surgery on your old clunk.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'