Love Whisperers Pillows

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Timber preservation

Relationship Issues.

'He's never there for me.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

Having It All

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

'Yeah, my dad used to howl at the Moon before, but now he struggles to stay awake past sundown...'

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

'Got time for a little girl stalk?'

Interpreters.

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

Marriage Guidance: 'Next!'

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

A good year for the Roses.

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

"Uncommunicative? Have you tried texting him?"

"I don't believe I'm having this conversation."

Literary Type

"Ever since I got married women find me attractive."