Love Spoiler Pillows

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'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Spoiler Alert

"If you don't want to know the score..."

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"I had no choice...The idiot was trying to tell me spoilers about the season finale of my favourite soap opera."

'I choose not to read Revelations, too many spoilers.'

I witnessed something I can never unsee. What happened, little buddy? Some guy walking out of the "Star Wars" premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show. A bunch of fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him. I don't think I can ever unsee five Ewoks and a slave Leia beating a Wookie senseless with plastic light sabers. The Wookie had it coming.

"Since you're breaking up with me, I'm giving away the spoilers to that movie you wanted to see."

"Oh no, have you heard about Prince Philip?"

"Spoiler alert!"

"...I will save you ninnies hudreds of dollars by spoiling every single upcoming superhero movie..."

"I told you not to tell me how it ends!"

SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.

"Do you want this with or without spoiler alerts?"

"Spoiler alert!"

Dog spoiling book for cat

"Spoiler alert! It's just Captain Bob's Savor Fish Shreds again."

"I like the way this one ends. She shoots him."

'What's wrong, haven't you heard of Global Warming?'

"I knew the Titanic would sink, so I told everybody. Then they kicked me out of the cinema."

"Oh wow, you won't believe what happens at the end!"

"Don't tell me the ending."

Spoiler Alert!

"Woah! I haven't read it yet. Spoilers!"