Love Satirist T-Shirts

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"You're fired."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

'That's our mission statement.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Do Not Resuscitate

Trump pardons

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

UK border controls relaxed.

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'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Oligarchy

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

No-Work Orange