Relationship Satirist T-Shirts

"Look, I can't promise I'll change, but I can promise I'll pretend to change."

'Didn't you get my e-mail'

'It may be evolution to you, but I call it 'avoidance of intimacy issues!'

"I don't hate him because he's black. I hate him because he's my husband."

"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"

"First marriage?"

"I'm sorry, I think we're just moving at different speeds."

'I discovered my marriage was based solely on trust - the $450,000 trust fund my grandparents left me.'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

'You can have any opinion you want as long as it's mine.'

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

'Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me.'

'Don't look at is as losing a duaghter, look at is as gaining an aging milionaire.'

'You've done something with your hair, right?'

"I need a gift for my new daughter-in-law... ou know, the one who stone my son from me!"

"Dear, do you think you may have become too comfortable with your masculinity?"

'Will you marry me? It's for a good cause.' -He was such a charity case.

'I finally remarried. You've been in a coma for almost three days.'

"Happy Earth Day, honey."

'All he wants to do is hang out with his friends!'

"Marry you? Why I wouldn't even vote to let you into my co-op."

"I'm just not sure I'm ready for a permanent relationship."

'This book is really fascinating darling.'

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

"Why, thank you dear – I suppose five gallons of gas is a thoughtful birthday gift."

He sometimes wondered if his new trophy wife was just after his money. (Towels read 'kin' and 'next of kin').

'What are we having for dinner?'

"I married for love. I divorced for money."

'Call me old fashioned, dear...but will you do me the honour of divorcing me?'

Honest Wife

"Good news, hon - I've sold the ancillary rights to our marriage."

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

Car with 'Just refinanced our marriage'.

"I guess my wife couldn't make it."