Love Quantifier T-Shirts

"O.K., who can put a price on love? Jim?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Emotional Bling

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

Scot holding a heart.

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

Cherub tries to prevent a man from declaring his love for a woman.

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'

"He's all mine. Life is good."

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

'She loves me, she loves me not. Maybe, who cares, what the hey!'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"I care that you care that I care about you caring... but I'm not sure if your caring is enough caring to make up for what I'm not caring enough about."

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

'Marriage ain't for this puppy. I'm way too romantic.'