Love Mechanic T-Shirts

'When was the last time you had a tune up?'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Turmoil change.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

Pheromones.

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

A souped up car...

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Animals are smarter than we think!

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Mine Shaft of Love.

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Mate Mart

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

"Turn down the bass."

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'