Love Mechanic T-Shirts

'When was the last time you had a tune up?'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Turmoil change.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Pheromones.

Animals are smarter than we think!

A souped up car...

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

Mate Mart

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Turn down the bass."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'