Love Maze Navigator Gifts

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

The Corporate Rat.

'Sir, Ms. Selby is here for your 3:00 meeting.'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'...And how long have you been having these hallucinations that you're seeing a psychiatrist?'

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

Lab rat in maze, sees 'you are here' map.

A psychiatrist is at the end of the maze.

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

Psychological Testing Center.

"Can't find your office, doc?"

...In a Relationship

Man playing huge complicated brass instrument.

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"We slipped in the tub."

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

"I have a recurring dream that I have a recurring dream, but I can't remember what it is!"

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."