Love Confessor Pillows

"I've always wanted to have sex with you, Tom."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

You're the olive in my martini

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Same Sex Wedding

"Apologies but you'll have to count me out tonight - Lynn and I are working on our marriage."

"Your wife called again about that thing called love - I said you were dealing with it."

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

Monk confessing to a devil.

'Stick on Souls'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'I'll need four character references.'

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

The Conquest

'Sorry to interrupt, but this is our sixth session and that's your third notepad. When do I get to say something?'

'I've been talking to my imaginary friend Carlos about this, and he thinks you're the wrong doctor to treat my delusional syndrome.'

'Nobody understands my job title.'

The cat got his owner's tongue, and is letting him know why.

'I'm heart-broken, Steven's Dad sold his sweet shop.'

'Woodruff, find out everything you can on a crazy thing called 'love'.'

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

'There, there, dear -- they're all alike.'

'Admit it - you've been worried since you were flashed by that speed camera...'

The Bachelord

"I see...and where was this carpet?"

Public Transport: Hell

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.