Love Bird Watcher Pillows

'Quick, comb your hair and throw on some makeup. Each tranquilizer dart only lasts a few minutes.'

A Symphony of Penguins

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Do me next."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Polluted geese

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Cat in a tank...

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Duck Hunt

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"