Love Bird Watcher Gifts

'Quick, comb your hair and throw on some makeup. Each tranquilizer dart only lasts a few minutes.'

A Symphony of Penguins

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Do me next."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Cat in a tank...

Polluted geese

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."