Bird-watching Lover Gifts

"Damn thing's supposed to be attorney-proof."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"That's not how I sat on you."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Polluted geese

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Knight feeding his kids.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Canada Goose Jackets

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

Spring Training

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."