Lovable Goofball Pillows

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

A Magician struggling to pull a rabbit out of a hat as a rabbit watches from the audience.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Shoot For The Moon

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

The Deaths take a selfie.

"The world revolves around my cat."

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

Tunnel of Love.

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

'The special today is scraps.'

Ostritch Gangsters.

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

(Can't) Count Dracula.

Time-space portal

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

'More Christmas anyone?'

Man in snow globe clears snow.

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

'I hope you replace your divots!'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

"Ewww....Banana slug hammocks really cross me out."

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'