Lottery Playing Pillows

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Stop thinking your future will go up in smoke because of a few wrong numbers on a lottery ticket!'

"It isn't charisma, and he didn't write a best seller. It's a winning lottery ticket."

'I shall spend part of it on Wine, Women and Song. The rest I shall spend foolishly. . .'

"You've got to spend money to make money, so I bought a thousand lottery tickets."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

Why do you hate the media?

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

"Have you been scratching this?"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

Highlights for Adults

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'