Loss Mitigator Gifts

"What we really need is a long term quick fix."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

"I know. I miss him, too."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

"It's all about putting work into the right perspective...and this helps me!"

Broken Heart

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

"He had a full two weeks."

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

"He was the finest bluesman I knew..."

A grave with an array of beauty products

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

Deadly sales figures...

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

"Your husband died from medical malpractice, but it may comfort you to know that brain surgery is always risky...even when the doctor doesn't have a hangover."

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

'You need a professional investment advisor. On your own all your investment decisions have been doing is diversifying your losses.'

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

"Your mother says to quit bringing laundry over. She's dead."

"Don't worry, dear, we'll find your wedding ring."