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"I may not be Mr. Right, but I know Mr. Right, and maybe if you sleep with me it will make him jealous."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

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'You're right, Haskell, I should get more exercise. Tomorrow I'm turning your office into a gym.'

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'How will I know when I've found my soul mate, Fang?'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

"We take pride in offering food that's simple, basic, yet absurdly expensive."

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

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Brain Crash

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"I was looking for my soul mate - now I'm just looking for someone who's not on a special diet."

'Not only are you a nice girl, but you pick up all the sports channels.'

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'

(Visual gag) Lonely Hearts Club / A human heart searching for a potential partner on a Lonely Hearts Club website.

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

"That tarot reader was right about me finding THE ONE this year."

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

'I'm still looking for love.'

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'

Computamatch.

'Hm, single female w/ wedding dress seeks serious relationship...'

I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But … but … but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great scott … it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I mean "Whatever. See you around."

"I'm just so impressed with what you're saying about the victimization of men."

"Useless lot... every time she finds Mr Right he says she's Mrs Wrong."

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'Yes I'm sure we will be able to put together your perfect match.'

'Thank heavens we became Tesco shareholders! Now we can afford to give up farming.'