Long-distance Relationship Challenge Gifts

"I'm sorry, Carol. I just feel like I should be seeing someone closer to my own neighborhood."

So Close..

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Missing You.

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

Did you miss me?

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Issues.

Worm Bed

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

"You knew I was a migratory bird when you married."

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

You are not forgotten!

Man and woman kissing while wearing face masks

'But Slinky, you knew I threw hissy fits when you married me!'