Long-distance Partner Gifts

"I miss you too, now stop licking the screen."

You are not forgotten!

Lockdown Connections

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

So Close..

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

Missing You.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

"You knew I was a migratory bird when you married."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

Man and woman kissing while wearing face masks

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

A planet like ours - Penguin to camel - "It wouldn't work either way my darling. I'm getting sunburnt out here and back home you'd freeze to death."

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

Even though we have to keep our distance...

'Mr Benett says that he's left his heart in San Fransisco.'