Handling A Long-distance Relationship Gifts

Man and woman kissing while wearing face masks

So Close..

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Missing You.

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

DIY marriage counseling.

Did you miss me?

Relationship Issues.

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

Worm Bed

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

"You knew I was a migratory bird when you married."

You are not forgotten!

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."

A planet like ours - Penguin to camel - "It wouldn't work either way my darling. I'm getting sunburnt out here and back home you'd freeze to death."

'But Slinky, you knew I threw hissy fits when you married me!'

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

Even though we have to keep our distance...