Loners At Heart T-Shirts

'He said he wants to stay there, captain.'

Cellphone Islands

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Plenty of fish"

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Some people don't like working from home - they go a bit mad with the solitude.But I've got you, haven't I Mr Floppity Ears.'

"sometimes it gets lonely being self employed and working alone."

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

Day 14 of self-isolation and the cat still hadn't responded to any attempts at conversation.

I'm looking to settle down with a nice light bulb, should I try the internet.

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones and Blackberry's, more and more executives are working from home.'

'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'

"How was your lonely little dinner, sir?"

At lunchtime he carried on extensive fax conversations with himself.

"This drink? It's called loneliness. Care to join me?"

Get home. No one there. Oh, the joy of the house to myself!

"A lot of people say that my absence is my best feature."

An old man in an hourglass filled with hearts

'Over five thousand friends, and not one remembered my birthday.'

"Unfortunately all his friends were just on Facebook."

Meet the publisher's entire marketing dept. 2-4pm

"She's a black faced Suffolk, but I call her Stephanie."

"You unfriended them all - remember?"

"A works outing is pretty dull when you're self-employed."

Monday is indeterminate species night.

Castaways Not Welcome

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"I can't remember the last time I had a face-to-face conversation with a real live human being. . ."