Loner Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

Club Antisocial

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"His teacher says he'll be as famous as Dick Turpin one day."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

Ned Kelly's (an Australian outlaw) continual problem.

"Have you been here long?"

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'Don't bother me, Harriet. Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?'

Hank went to his secret spot in the attic for a few minutes away from family.

Laser Beam Playing Record.

'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones and Blackberry's, more and more executives are working from home.'

"A lot of people say that my absence is my best feature."

Meet the publisher's entire marketing dept. 2-4pm

'Maybe you should replace the super plantinum-iridium-cadmium batteries in your laser pointer with ordinary alkaline batteries.'

"Of course, you've got to expect some side effects with Eye Laser Treatment."

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

The class was unusually quiet. Gribbins fingered his cane and coughed just once. Chalk-dust or asthma, nobody could tell. What was left of Jimmy Worthington sizzled quietly on the floor in front of the excimer laser...

'I know living on an abandoned nuclear test site has its advantages - no bugs, no snakes, no univited guests but did it ever occur to you that there's nothing else here either?'

Jobs that will make you really lonely...

"You unfriended them all - remember?"

'It's so refreshing to meet someone who doesn't blog.'

Castaways Not Welcome

'When I said 'Put your feet up' you know very well what I meant!'