Lonely Hearts Club Pillows

ONE HORSE TOWN

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"I'm starting to think that no one else is coming."

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

'I find I'm talking to myself a lot these days.'

A depressing washing up rota.

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'

'The last brontosaurus on earth unable to understand why he can't get a date for Saturday night.'

Drinking Companions

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Dad has lamb's-quarter, pigweed, sheep sorrel, chickweed and buckhorn, and we can't even have a dog.'

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Snub Marine

Cricket wife's revenge 9

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

"Plenty of fish"

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

'Some people don't like working from home - they go a bit mad with the solitude.But I've got you, haven't I Mr Floppity Ears.'

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

Day 14 of self-isolation and the cat still hadn't responded to any attempts at conversation.

I'm looking to settle down with a nice light bulb, should I try the internet.

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

"I'm nostalgic for the print media."

Hunters And Gatherers Without Partners.