Lone Wanderer T-Shirts

'Leading the pack, fighting contenders, it was too stressful: I gave it up and became a lone wolf...'

Lone traveller is befriended by tourist from hell.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Sausages.

Politically Correct Snowperson

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Sport Utility Boot.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Dreams I have had...

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

Desert Island Mishap

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

Women of the Wilderness

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'