Lucky Wanderer T-Shirts

Casino. Why do casinos call this "gaming"? Because from their perspective there's no gambling involved.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

Sausages.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Sport Utility Boot.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

Desert Island Mishap

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Women of the Wilderness

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"