Locomotives Gifts

A trevor of trainspotters

'...that's a bit different for 8:45!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Travelling

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

Why do you hate the media?

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Airport

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Highlights for Adults

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Have you been scratching this?"

Run from the hills!

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

L.A. Transfer

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.