Locker Room Leaders Gifts

Football coach has an in box labeled 'Receive' and an out box labeled 'Kick'.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

You Don't Know What It's Like

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

'Relax, the game is over.'

You were great last night

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

Size matters!

The first day of school is always filled with crazy emotions. Joy and trauma. Triumph and failure. Frustration and disappointment. And that's just dealing with my cruddy new locker.

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'You've lost a step...'

'He took a pass and disappeared?'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Hey Kekyll c'mon you should have changed by now.'