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"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Sign Reform

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Palin 2012

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

Hide me. Under the table. What's the matter? He's coming. Who. Who??? The wolf! The hairy man. The insatiable and relentless one. Didn't we just finish an election cycle? There he is! Oh no! The 2020 elections are around the corner. Wolf Blitzer! Run! I'll tune in tomorrow. Don't eat me! CNN.

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."

"They're spelt differently!"

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

Which One is Pulling Out?

"Well, you have to admire his honesty."

"Well, I don't think we should count on much help from the Russians this election."

Meanwhile, back at the GOP presidential candidate interviews. . .

"I Win!!!"

"We were thinking, since your head speechwriter understands the issues better than you do, speaks better than you do, is smarter and better-looking than you.."

'We're saved! -- it's Superdelegate!'

Up-to-the-minute reporting from our man on the street.

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

"My net worth is $8.7 billion - so I can't be bought by any interest group!"

Invest In A Politician Of Your Choice with Our New SuperPac IPOs.

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

'Folks, meet public enemy number 1!'

Wimp and Wimpier: The Democratic Field for 2020

Bush's Huge Campaign Fund at Work.

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

"It's going to be a tough four years."

8 years of GOP economics.

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."