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"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Palin 2012

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"They're spelt differently!"

"Well, you have to admire his honesty."

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

"We were thinking, since your head speechwriter understands the issues better than you do, speaks better than you do, is smarter and better-looking than you.."

"I Win!!!"

'We're saved! -- it's Superdelegate!'

"Well, I don't think we should count on much help from the Russians this election."

Meanwhile, back at the GOP presidential candidate interviews. . .

Up-to-the-minute reporting from our man on the street.

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"My net worth is $8.7 billion - so I can't be bought by any interest group!"

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

"It's going to be a tough four years."

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

Bush's Huge Campaign Fund at Work.

Invest In A Politician Of Your Choice with Our New SuperPac IPOs.

'Folks, meet public enemy number 1!'

8 years of GOP economics.

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'