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Up-to-the-minute reporting from our man on the street.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

Laughingstock

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

SAGE mentality

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"America’s leaders since 1980"

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

US election postal vote controversy

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

Statue of Security

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"There-there-all those countries...all those protesters...it's nothing personal...wait a minute! I think it is!"

The search for Weapons of Mass Destruction

A world divided by the war

"It's the new Trump Tower..."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

"He's only been president a few months. Just give hima little time."

EU Deal

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."