Local Legends Admirers Pillows

"What do you mean, you don't know who I am? I am Ralph. Ralph! Surely you have heard of Ralph."

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Channelling on the Cheap

Bradley Wiggins

"We need rain."

Vampire on a plane

Noah's Ark leaves pair of unicorns behind

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

'Sorry guys, I've checked: The Moon is not made of cheese...'

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

"So that's Ireland."

"There! I heard it again!"

"Why doesn't Ken Burns make a documentary about this?"

Loch Ness.

'It isn't polite to point.'

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Muhammad Ali

Nobody suspects it but the entrance to hell is in the building at 122c, Willow Street.

"We see this on occasion. People become self-actualized and empowered and they spontaneously combust."

Pelé

"No, I'm afraid that doesn't count."

'Well, Mrs. Farnsworth, I'm afraid you've got Druids!'

"Remember, it's bad luck to eat a building that has a 13th floor."

'The nearest boozer? You're talking to him!'

"I always wondered if UFO's were real!"

The Headless Horseman moves to the suburbs.

"Welcome to New Jersey, the 'What is that smell?' state."

'Do you always steal from the rich?'

Man finds a rat in his hamburger