Loan Luminary Pillows

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'They'll have to better than that.'

The Hobby Store

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Emergency Firebreaker

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

Banks hand out umbrellas in good weather and take them back when it rains.

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

Passover Plague

James Russell Lowell

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

Algernon Swinburne

Lockdown Signpost

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

Support your local bookstore

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

Top 10 things to worry about in 2020.

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

"Your credit score is lower than your golf score, even with your handicap."

'It's only temporary. My student loans didn't quite carry me until social security.'

"You have a pre-existing condition...your credit score."

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."