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The Deli Llama

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

Occu-Pie Mars

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

The Scottish Lawn

"Yeah, I used to be able to spit, but now I mostly drool..."

Drama Llama

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

I don't just love you, I think I llove you.

'Isn't it sublime, Janet? The original Dali Llama.'

'I'm collecting llama poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Cheek

"We've got to stop selling cheesy snacks near the petting zoo."

The first art critic

Librarian.

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Put another minnow on my line!"

'My spit smells worse.'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

Llama training

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

'I can sense you're upset Darling: Did I miss our anniversary again?'

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

Life is just four letters...

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."