Livestock Wrangler Pillows

'You'll want to watch that old sow, Doc!'

New Guy.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

'Fresh eggs!'

Toastquest!

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 1

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

“They look like last year’s models.”

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

Christo's greatest challenge.

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'