Livestock Lamenter Pillows

"God, I hate cows."

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

Banks hand out umbrellas in good weather and take them back when it rains.

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

"We raise our beef humanely."

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

Shepherd

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

“They look like last year’s models.”

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

"When I was a child, I lost childish amounts of money, but when I became a man I put away childish losses and started losing man-sized amounts of money."

Quick! To the Other Side of the Field.

"Say . . . what kind of cow are you?"

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

'Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps.'

Will work for grass

'I knew she was a kicker.'

That little piggy

Cornucopia