Livestock Investor Pillows

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Cheesie Rider

Sick Rancher Humor

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

The Cattle show Week.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'But he doesn't want to chase sticks - He likes to follow the stock market!'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

"I didn't just store my acorns - I invested them in a high performance stock portfolio."

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Pork bellies are up...'

"We should have taken a eweber."

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"We raise our beef humanely."

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."