Live Viewing Enthusiast Gifts

"I think the best part was when we decided not to record it."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

TV-Man

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

TV jester.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

Must-See Lockdown TV.

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

Child hooking into a television

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'