Live Show Enthusiasts Gifts

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Applause

Theatre Crowd

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

TV and cleaner

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"This next song is called - 'I want to kill you'."

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

"This one's for me."

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"You're on next. Break a leg!"