Live Music Aficionados Pillows

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'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

At the rock concert...

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"Free Bird!"

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

Cossack dancers

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Plum jam...

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'That was Charlie Parker's 'Ornithology.' I threw in a flat nine in bar 16 and a tritone substitution in bar 22. Who noticed that? Hands up if you noticed!'

The Echoes at Killarney

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

'I'd like now to do a blues number, for those of you here on Viagra. It's called - Woke up Early One Morning.'

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

An Intimate Union forms between Napster and the Pygmy Sub-Area of Central Africa...

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Towny Music Night.

'Nobody pays for music anymore.'

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Steve? Hold on, lemme grab my fiddle."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"This next song is for all you a cappella lovers. No strings attached."