Live Music Lover Pillows

Street musician can't compete with modern CD players.

Two women playing the piano for some guests

"Our band is called 'Paper'. We'll be covering some rock for you this evening."

Old man in pub threatening the live band with CS gas

"Hey, keep it down, we're trying to have a conversation."

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

Live Elevator Music

'When they said they had the 'screaming trots' I thought they meant a band!'

"Yeah, it's just like being there!"

'I'm so lonesome...'

"Sorry... I can't hear you above the noise?"

Restaurant Musician

Busker ignored because of the rise of MP3 players.

"You know you're getting old when your favorite band's tour s sponsored by an adult diaper company."

'Don't you mean rubbish; we're in England!'

'Leader, shmeader... We came here to see Lady Gaga.'

"This next song is called - 'I want to kill you'."

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"I like the old elevator music better."

"Gather 'round and I'll sing in a style that's just earnest enough to make you uncomfortable."

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"Can you play 'No Tipping Blues'?"

"Ahh. A request!"

"...I'm just going to put you on hold for a moment."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Free Bird!"

"This next song is for everyone who has ever been incarcerated."

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

Tedeschi Trucks

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

"This next song is for you, in the blue dress with the idiot. Yes, you ..."

"I’ll be back — I just have to pee for 90 minutes."

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

A rock guitarist plays.