Live Audience Chaser Pillows

"What I'd give for a heckler!"

Taking a peek at the audience

Applause

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

How to engage an audience

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

Economics journalist

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

'I'm looking for a job where I get free concert tickets.'

Intramission

'Me? Running? Oh, for heaven's sake! Whatever gave you that idea?'

"The word is a prominent Republican is going to announce that he's not going to run for president..."

Dido

Feelings towards radios #7 Man catching a radio in a net.

The Epsom Derby - Jockey Rides Out through the Crowd

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"Ambitions... to be corrupted by power"

"Rock and Roll Heaven"

"Oh...erm...welcome back!"

Chrissie Hynde

Lady going to a show at the Royal Opera House.

Miles Davis

"Taylor Swift tickets? Be reasonable."