Little Foodie Gifts

Young child saying grace

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'Mum, what can I eat?' asks Freddie. Mum answers, 'Banana!' Freddie exclaims, 'No'. She then provides Freddie with a long list of food which he rejects. Finally he asks, 'How about a banana?'

Child fussy about his food after cookery programmes.

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Shopping for Vegetables

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Party Animals.

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'