Little Bath Rebels Pillows

"This looks like more fun than taking a bath."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Boys Cooking

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Pubertry

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

I left my mark on policies and programs.

"Wow kids! You made challahs! Great job!"

"There's a grouch on my couch."

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

It's a gingerbread cyclops....I ran out of raisins!

Dead House Plant

I've turned to the darkside!

Elvis Presley Fan Club letter...

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

HELL'S TILLERS.

Total Scum Block

No Ball Games in the Park

Freddie and dad playing in park. Dad wants to go home. Freddie says, Better not forget my bike, and better not forget myself!

'Whenever my parents threaten to discipline me, I say 'Okay, but that's the first thing I'm going to mention in my tell all book'. Works for me.'