Little Bath Rebels Pillows

"This looks like more fun than taking a bath."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

Boys Cooking

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Pubertry

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

I left my mark on policies and programs.

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

"Wow kids! You made challahs! Great job!"

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

"There's a grouch on my couch."

It's a gingerbread cyclops....I ran out of raisins!

Dead House Plant

Elvis Presley Fan Club letter...

I've turned to the darkside!

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

Total Scum Block

HELL'S TILLERS.

Freddie and dad playing in park. Dad wants to go home. Freddie says, Better not forget my bike, and better not forget myself!

'Whenever my parents threaten to discipline me, I say 'Okay, but that's the first thing I'm going to mention in my tell all book'. Works for me.'

"Negative, Captain. Conditions here extremely hostile to rockabilly."