Litter Box Comedian Gifts

What if cats talked dirty...

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Cat Reunion

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Bront?saurus.'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"Can you sign this copy I downloaded off the internet?"

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"When I asked you to read a book, I didn't mean Facebook."

"Condense this down to a series of memes and we'll take another look at it."

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

'Thanks to Obama the Nobel Prize has lost much of its prestige. This is the third time I got one in my surprise meal this week.'

"We no longer shelve gay fiction separately. It's been assimilated."

Cat builds a castle in it's litter tray.

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

A cats perspective of a desert

"Then I began to think outside the litter box."

'Did I startle you?'

In writing War and Peace, Tolstoy was going for the big laugh, but the more he wrote, the more elusive it became.

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

'I wouldn't worry about not brushing before bed if it was just the one night, Mr. Van Winkle.'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!